World Mental Health Day: Ten questions you should ask your partner before you get married
Being prepared for marriage is just as much your responsibility as it is your partner's...
Marriage is something that rarely is entered into with notions of complete and utter honesty. Well not always anyway.
The ones that do it right (subjectively) ask and answer the tough questions, and don't just follow suit into the romantic notion of happily ever after.
And it's an ongoing process of falling and picking yourselves up. So today on World Mental Health Day, we wanted to share ten questions that you should ask your partner before saying 'I do'...
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1. "Are you sure you want to do this? Do you have any doubts about making this commitment?"
Remember being honest and open may be uncomfortable, and if it is, then this is all the more reason you should be asking these questions. You don't want to start something so permanent up without clearing the awkwardness.
Plus doing this will help build your relationship up, with trust and open communication being key values to your foundation.
2. What do you consider cheating? Is it flirting, is it kissing, is it close emotional relationship with someone you could be attracted to?
This may seem morbid, as if you setting your relationship up to fail, but it is a realistic approach. And this way, you both are going into the relationship knowing your boundaries and your partner's boundaries.
3. Are we going to combine finances or keep things separate? What happens if we make a big joint purchase, are we going to split it and do you have any debt?
Far too often people in marriages aren't open and honest when it comes to their finances, especially when it comes to debt. And this can carry over negatively depending on how you are married (in community of property). Be open!
4. Do you want kids, or do you want more kids (if you already have kids) or should we just load up on fur babies?
5. Do you want to be in a monogamous relationship, a polyamorous relationship, or do you want to leave things open and check in every year?
6. How can we improve our communication? What can I do to make it easier for you to bring up difficult topics?
Self-reflection can be the greatest tool to help in the mental wellness of a relationship. Because far too often couples play the blame game. And honestly who actually wins there? Nobody!
7. How often are we going to see your family, and do you want your parents to move in with us if they eventually need more care?
8. What secrets are okay to keep private and when does omitting feel deceitful?
These are all challenging questions to ask, but more importantly, these are questions you must've asked and answered yourself before posing it to your partner.
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9. What would you do if you were falling out of love with me, would you tell me, would you talk to a therapist or friend first?
10. Under what circumstances would you start considering a divorce?
Each question holds its own answer and also opens up a person into thinking about things that perhaps they hadn't considered. And if we know one thing, it's that mental health and wellness issues come from varied parts of life, marriage being one of them.
The inability to be honest with yourself and your partner can cause toxicity, both in your relationship and for family.
So instead of crossing that bridge when you get there, best to nip things in the tooshie and address it before making it official.
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