Five things to talk about on a first date that could spark a 'real' connection
Looking for a spark? Then try these things out...
There are many do's and don'ts when it comes to first dates. And to be honest, it can be totally and irrevocably overwhelming.
But we've got you covered. At least in one area that is.
A dating coach has come out and revealed some great conversation starters to use on a first date.
These are a great starting point for those of you going on a date after a long while. The pressure of not saying enough or coming across the wrong way is real, so check these out for some guidance.
1. Casual, contextual conversation
Keeping things light and casual can be difficult, with the expectations we set for ourselves. But instead of feeling like you need to jump into the big stuff, rather just start small. Chat about the bar, restaurant or place you are meeting at, what the person likes about it, their favourite meal or drink, pick up on their style, maybe a watch or neck chain, or even speak about which part of the city you are from.
2. Ask them about their day
To open the door to true connection and get past the canned responses, it helps to try to learn about their world as they're experiencing it presently.
Asking about what's going on in their life currently is a great way to tap into that.
A great dialogue example was put forth by dating coach, Clara Artschwager.
Example questions:
- So, how has your day been?
- Follow-up: Oh, what's been so stressful about it?
- What have you been up to this week?
- Follow-up: Wow, how was that experience for you?
- Follow-up: That sounds like a lot. Is that a usual week for you?
- Follow-up: It's nice that you got to spend some time with your parents. Are you close with them?
3. Be honest about what's happening in your world
Too often we are tempted to paint a picture of being someone who we think a prospective partner wants. But the truth is that being honest about what you have going on in your life is a welcomed trait.
"Dating coach, Artschwager points out that people generally enjoy being around those who are willing to be open and vulnerable." (Mind Body Green)
4. Notice and ask about the small details
Being an active listener and an observant date really helps build a connection. Instead of trying to mentally prepare how you will respond, actively listen to what they are saying so you can engage with them.
"People generally open up more when they're being seen, heard, noticed, and listened to in the little details of who they are and how they express themselves," couples' therapist Alicia Muñoz, LPC recently told mbg.
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5. Compliment them
We so often only associate compliments with the physical. But taking the time to compliment your date on something unique you have noticed can make a world of difference.
"A little playful flirting can be fun, but in addition to that, see if you can find ways to compliment your date's personality or energy. After you've been talking for a little bit, see what little things you notice that you really like about being around this person." (Mind Body Green)
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