Dealing with the Disabled

In June this year, a mother of a disabled child posted a rant on Facebook about a clothing store in Johannesburg, who she says refused to allow her into the store because her child was in the trolley and not in a mobility stroller. 

This is what the mother posted:

'When we see xxx ... we immediately think of international fashion with international standards – the exact reason I went to shop there this afternoon. Little did I know that they have no compassion towards children with special needs - a child who suffers from Pulmonary Hypertension and due to this reason cannot walk much and is oxygen dependent.

'As I entered (the store) I was told by the security that they have a No Trolley Policy. While I understand and respect that under normal circumstances, I explained to them that my 7 year old daughter who was using her oxygen, was unable to walk around the store as she tires out very fast and nor would I be able to carry her and the oxygen machine, as physically it's taxing.

'I repeatedly tried to explain her situation and even reached a point where I argued with the security personnel and then asked to speak to the manager. She told me the same thing although she could clearly see my daughter on oxygen in the trolley which had no groceries or any other packets in it, at all. I asked if they could surely make an exception but was told that this is the policy. To me this is unacceptable as a mom to a child who has special needs and requirements. Although we own a mobility scooter, we did not have it on this occasion. But what if one cannot afford a “luxury" item and utilizes a trolley - should we be prohibited from shopping in certain stores due to this reason... exceptions need to be made. My kids were emotionally affected by what transpired as was I.'

A lot of people shared the above rant and there was a lot of reaction to that story. Some people said that the store was mean and that they were going to boycott it, while others said that the mother was out of line in that she should have made sure that she had the right mobility stroller for her child. 

A couple of years ago there was another incident of a grocery store handling a special needs child insensitively in that they locked the father up in a cell at the back of the store for opening a packet of biscuits to give to the toddler who was diabetic, while waiting in line to pay. The store security guard said that he was trying to steal the biscuits and made the toddler sit in his stroller outside the cell while they held his father in a room. At no time did they actually want to hear his explanation of the child’s disease and why he needed to give him that biscuit at that particular moment – to get his sugar levels up. 

We are dealing with complete insensitivity here. We need to have people who are trained to actually be able to make a judgement call in these types of situations. It requires a little bit of sensitivity to people’s needs. 

A friend of mine has a nine-year-old non-verbal autistic boy that has very limited communication skills. He says when he takes him out he gets strange looks from the public as if he doesn’t know how to control him. The problem is that he "does not look disabled", so they assume either that he is a brat or my friend is an incompetent parent. 

Organisations and businesses need to be sensitive to these things. The woman in the first incident seems to have had an alternative, but not everyone has an alternative like a mobility stroller. Maybe they only have a regular stroller and in order for the child to be able to go out with its mother, a shopping trolley would be a natural choice? I mean, trolleys do have seats for children. So maybe this store has a particular policy around trolleys, but I think it’s unreasonable.

A listener once called me to tell me that his autistic brother was wrestled to the ground and handcuffed by a store security guard who thought he was stealing something from the store. All the boy wanted was a little help from someone who worked in the store but couldn’t express himself adequately. He went up to the security guard who misread the situation and caused such chaos.

I’d like to know if these companies that subcontract their work to outside security companies run a training programme on how to work in these environments? If you’re going to be dealing with the public you need to be aware of these potential situations. I don’t think there’s any excuse for the manager in this situation not to have known how to deal with the problem. She’s the manager of the store – she should have been equipped to deal with that situation. 

The fact is: I can understand why stores may not want trolleys in there if the store is cramped for space, but we aren’t talking fifty trolleys at one time here. Some kind of discretion should have been used instead of just turning the woman and her child away. They should have made an exception for the one person whose child was actually disabled. And to be fair, the mobility stroller, with the space for the oxygen tank, might be equally as big as the trolley – why would the store allow that? They were just being pedantic. 

What about a person who brings a guide dog into a place which has a “No Dogs Allowed” policy? The guide dog would have to be allowed in, because guide dogs are specifically trained for that purpose. These dogs are there to keep that disabled person safe. What is wrong with us? Are we really that stupid?

We are trying to build an inclusive society. I mean, we have policies in education around inclusive education and care and support. So shouldn’t we, as adults, be setting good examples of how we can care for and support children with special needs in an inclusive way – making sure those environments are accessible? 

I’ve harped on about lifts in shopping malls being used for grocery trolleys instead of the intended wheelchairs and baby strollers for a long time now, yet people will still not make use of the service lifts for this express purpose. I encountered a young girl in a wheelchair once who waited outside a lift for half an hour on the mezzanine level of a mall because lazy, insensitive people refused to use the service lifts for the trolleys full of groceries.     

I was at a conference a little while ago and at the lunch time buffet, a blind guy told me how people don’t really make provision for people with disabilities. He would then be expected to queue and select his food from the buffet even though he’s blind. So he has to find someone on his own to bring him some food. 

I think we have a long way to go when it comes to sensitivity to the needs of the disabled in this country. And I do believe that people who transgress these lines should absolutely be named and shamed. Perhaps it’s the only way that will make us wake up and check our behaviour and attitudes? 

Do you think we could be doing more as a society to make the lives of the disabled more comfortable and inclusive?

You can email Terence Pillay at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter: @terencepillay1 and tweet him your thoughts.