"Two months short of our wedding day my fiancée has confessed to cheating." -KZN listener

Listen to the podcast or continue reading below: 

The weight of that heavy decision is what KZN listener, Nosipho is dealing with. 

With just two months to the most important and special day in her life, her husband has made a heartbreaking confession. Nosipho sent Stacey and J Sbu her dilemma for their feature #TheFixer. 

#TheFixer is a feature on Stacey and J Sbu's show in which the duo gives KZN listeners an opportunity to share their dilemmas that they seek advice on. Together with the help of fellow KZN listeners, Stacey and J Sbu try to help the concerned party fix their problem. 

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Nosipho is a bride in waiting to her high school sweetheart, the pair have been together for twelve years. Last year, Nosipho's fiancée popped the question and in the last few weeks the bride and groom to be have been putting together the final touches to their plans for their upcoming nuptials. 

READ: "My wife and I are struggling to connect after having a baby" - KZN listener Pravin

However, a week ago, a confessional from Nosipho's partner has the wedding in question. Nosipho shares that her man admitted to being unfaithful in their marriage as recently as two months ago. 

Nosipho is reeling from the betrayal of her trust and their relationship but that is to not say that she is now out of love with her partner. She is now faced with the decision of whether or not to carry on with the wedding, postponing the wedding or calling it off all together.

Nosipho, says that she is not ready to give up on her fiancee, the couple have also signed up for counselling and she hopes that she will be able to get over the hurt but she does think the wedding is too close to allow time for them to build up trust again. 

Listen as Nosipho shares her story in her own words in the podcast below:

Clinical Social Worker, Aimee Hartstein shares the following advice for couples dealing with infidelity before their nuptials: 

Talk to Your Partner

First, talk to your partner. Ask them to be honest and explain everything, and then give them a chance to share their point of view. This isn’t only about learning exactly what happened, but it’s to see how they respond to the situation and to you.

Consider the Incident

Cheating can manifest in many different ways, so it’s important to consider the incident itself. "If you find out that your partner is a compulsive or serial cheater, this is probably not a person that you should feel comfortable making a permanent commitment to," says Hartstein.

Look at the Relationship as a Whole

As much as you are probably seeing red—and you have every right to—do your best to take a step back and look at the relationship as a whole. 

Think About Whether the Relationship Is Fixable

A situation with cheating may provide time for reflection on your relationship. What do you think isn’t working? What does your partner say isn’t working? Is it fixable? The only way you can ever move past this—really move past it—is if you address the root issue. You have to decide whether you think that’s a realistic option.

If you were in Nosipho's shoes and you had found out that your wife or husband to be had been unfaithful to you- a few weeks before your wedding date, what would you do? 

Share your comments and advise with Nosipho below: 

Main image from Pexels. 

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