Sibling rivalry: "I don't want my sibling to be more successful than me"
Have you been casting a shadow for your siblings or are you the one living beneath it?
A little friendly competition between siblings is natural.
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Sibling rivalry can actually teach children fundamental and important lessons early on in life.
However, just as there is a healthy level of sibling rivalry, there is a point where it can turn toxic.
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There are a few things that can cause this but jealousy and competitiveness can cause major issues in a sibling relationship.
While we like to believe our parents don't pick favourites, and they might even tell us quite regularly that they love all their kids equally, you can't help but let the self-doubt creep in when you see your sibling's success.
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If you are the eldest of your siblings, you might feel a lot of pressure from a very young age to be the most successful, accomplish all your goals, work hard, and make your parents proud. The BBC reported that mother's expected their first-born children would succeed more academically.
As a younger sibling, you could either feel more pressured because your eldest sibling was so hugely successful or if they are considered "a failure" you would also feel the need to outperform them.
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Either way, the cycle of competitiveness is almost always continuous.
But if we take our parents out of the equation - does it really matter?
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Are we really that hung up on what our siblings are doing with their lives and what they are achieving? Are we genuinely happy for them and their success? Or is there a little bit of bitterness that will always reside within us?
Stacey and J Sbu are both the eldest of their siblings and they spoke about the possibility of some jealous feelings.
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When it comes to her younger sister, Kendall, Stacey is very aware that they have the average amount of sibling rivalry but she also says this:
As far as I'm concerned, as long as one of us is doing well we're in the clear! Lol, sibling rivalry could really be seen as an opportunity to keep your parents off everyone's back. As long as one of you is shining, then when they bump into aunties in the shops they can be like 'oh yes this child is excelling'. As long as they have something good to present we're good. It gives the rest of us a chance to breathe. The ones who achieve need to take a break sometimes too. Can I please just rest?!
J Sbu would like to think he would be super happy if his brother or sister were successful but there is a tiny nagging feeling:
I would actually be very happy for my brother and my sister if they were to become more successful than I am. My parents have always wanted us to do better than them so if my brother or sister were able to achieve success, in whatever regard, that would make me happy because it would ease the pressure off my parents. But deep, deep, deep, deep down, of course, it would mean pressure for me. And knowing my brother he would have such a big head about it.
They asked KZN the question and they had also come clean about whether they want to see their sibling win or is there only jealousy.
Main image courtesy of East Coast Radio