"My friend has given me a difficult ultimatum and it involves her ex"
We tend to forget that breakups have an effect on those outside of the relationship as well.
When couples break up, it makes sense that the focus should be on them.
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While that's all good and fine, we forget that for a certain amount of time two people's lives were connected and weaved together, overlapping when it comes to friends, family, and even living spaces.
This other person becomes an integral part of your life so, obviously, they become familiar with the people in your life.
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There might even be new people that you met while you were in the relationship.
Then the breakup occurs and the inevitable happens: everyone needs to pick a side.
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If you don't, you are labeled as a traitor, a terrible friend/family member and you will probably never hear from this person again.
But what happens when you are equally good friends with both parties involved?
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Listener Mikayla's very good friend recently went through a breakup. The plot twist is that Mikayla and her partner are really good friends with both parties involved.
Now her friend has given her an ultimatum.
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She doesn't know what to do, so she came to Stacey and J Sbu (as well as the rest of KZN) in search of some advice and guidance.
Take a listen to hear her story:
Here is all of the best advice KZN, Stacey and J Sbu had to offer:
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Ultimatums get a bad rap, but as it turns out there are some good ultimatums that can be beneficial for relationships.
According to Bustle, these are all healthy and approved ultimatums that can help set boundaries in relationships:
1. I will choose to do something different if you stay on your phone.
2. That makes me uncomfortable, please don't say that again.
3. When you message your ex, it hurts my feelings.
4. We don't always have to watch television together if we want to watch different things.
5. Either we're exclusive or I need time to think about whether I want to continue this.
6. We need to be able to save money.
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