"The pain of going through a miscarriage is one I cannot erase from my memory."
Updated | By Poelano Malema
Nothing could ever prepare a woman - who had been dreaming of holding a baby in her arms – for the news that her child no longer has a heartbeat.
A few months back, I remember reading a post by Sharon Stone talking about the shame she had to endure after experiencing nine miscarriages.
I recall thinking about how I could relate to how she felt like a failure, despite doing nothing wrong. Although today I am a mother of two, the pain that I suffered when I lost my first pregnancy is one I cannot erase from my memory.
Nothing could ever prepare an excited woman - who had been dreaming of holding a baby in her arms – for the news that her child no longer has a heartbeat. I remember sitting on that hospital bed and just sobbing. Although my husband was by my side, sobbing with me, it just felt like nothing could make the pain better and nobody understood.
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What made the experience worse was all the questions people asked about the pregnancy loss and how insensitive some of those questions were.
This Women’s Month, I am writing to motivate any women out there who may be dealing with loss; it can be the loss of a child, the loss of a family member, the loss of a job, the loss of a friend, whatever loss it might be, know that your strength lies within you.
Refuse to be ashamed of your pain. Don't apologise for what you are going through during this time of mourning. Refuse to be sidelined and verbally abused by society. Know that all that you go through is not meant to destroy you and you will rise again.
It might not seem like it, but time heals. Someday, you will heal and be an inspiration and encouragement to others. Acknowledge when you are feeling weak and reach out to a trusted friend, family member or counsellor and trust the process.
Let me leave you with this powerful quote.
“The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes.”- JoyBell C
ALSO READ: Is it possible to love someone romantically but not be sexually attracted?
Main image credit: iStock/TolikoffPhotography
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