How do you have the tough chat with your parents about their golden years?
Adulting is hard... and watching your parents get older can be difficult.
Do you recall your parents sitting you down for the dreaded 'birds and the bees' talk? If only that was the only awkward conversation that you would potentially have to have with your parents...
In our parents' eyes, we will always probably be their darling children despite our big age.
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That is why the role reversal that often happens when our parents get older can take some time getting used to. It may feel uncomfortable, but these conversations need to happen.
The longer you avoid having these somewhat tricky chats with your parents about things like their will, finances, long-term care, illness, and how they would like to be buried, the harder it will be for you and your extended family who might have to make decisions on their behalf.
For the Normans, it has been difficult for the family to come together to plan out how they would care for Stacey's grandmother, whom she affectionally refers to as her 'G-Unit'.
I am so lucky and blessed to still have my G-Unit in my life. She is turning 91 this year and let me tell you, she is one strong nana! My gran still drives herself around (against many of our wishes) even though it is within a short distance. She also still lives in her own home alone (even though it is close to my mom's house). I worry about her immensely and she is quite strong willed and independent, so any chats about her slowing down and perhaps having someone around to care or keep an eye out for her are almost always out of the question!
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Watch below, an intimate celebration to mark the matriarch of the Norman family's milestone birthday last year:
Delivery when it comes to things like this is very important.
You do not want your parents or in Stacey's case, your grandparent, to think you are being insensitive, instead that they should look at it like you want to make sure that their wishes and needs are heard and implemented should a situation arise in which they are necessary.
Stacey shared the following tips in regard to being able to communicate with your ageing loved ones about their future:
- Listen first and ask questions later - Find out where they stand and what their wishes are.
- Get the family involved - If you have siblings or aunts or uncles, get them involved in facilitating the conversation.
- Allow them to make the final decisions on their life - Yes, you can offer your opinion, but remember that it is still very much their life.
- Have everything on file and set up a family meeting where all is discussed so that you are all on the same page.
NB: Do not let anyone have an opt out for the last point.
Have you had the conversation with your parents or grandparents of what they would like to happen surrounding long-term care and the end of their life?
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