"He expects me to tell him where I am at all times" -KZN listener
Updated | By Stacey & J Sbu
This listener has reached out for advice with her boyfriend and his control/safety issues...
Navigating relationships and setting clear boundaries that both parties are happy with can be very difficult.
When comes to making sure a loved one is safe, it's a no-brainer that your significant other will try their best efforts to ensure your security.
However, the question at hand today is when does a significant other take it too far?
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One of our listeners reached out with a situation she is having with her boyfriend.
She is trying to determine if his actions have been controlling or whether it is a mere sign of respect and care.
Have a listen as Tanya shares her story in the short podcast below:
Tanya and her partner are very close, they talk at least five times a day and they live together.
However, the two recently had a fight after Tanya decide to have an impromptu girls' night out. She had a dinner with her friends without telling her boyfriend where exactly the dinner would be.
Tanya says it was a last minute catch up initiated by one of her friends. She texted her boyfriend that she would be home an hour or two later then usual as she would be with her friends.
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I had my phone in my bag the whole dinner only to check it later to find a stream of WhatsApp messages and missed calls from my boyfriend who claimed that I had to and should have let him know exactly where I would be. He expects me to tell him where I was at all times. It was not a safety issue because he knew where I was at.- Tanya
Tanya needs some guidance on how to navigate this situation.
We reached out to our Facebook community to see what advice they have for this listener.
Thank you so much for being compassionate, friends.
Some of the helpful responses were as follows:
- "It's respect , which shows how serious both partners are in the relationship and individual safety. The world is not safe so it caring to always check up your whereabouts of your partner."
- "This is a red flag and he's definitely being controlling."
- "A control freak which I can only see getting worse as time goes on."
- "He has no trust in you, and will continue to behave in this way until you change the situation."
- "At first it will sound like respect but as time goes by it's control"
- "Not all the time... I'm a very paranoid person and so my fiancé always messages me to say he reached his destination safely and I do the same. Not so much controlling where each other goes or what we do in a day but just knowing that we are both okay when we are not with each other."
- "That is just a big red flag. You're an adult he can't expect you to report everything you do to him. "
We wish this couple all the best in this uneasy situation and hope that they can come to a resolution soon.
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