"Expressing how my needs are not being met in a romantic relationship is very difficult for me"- J Sbu
It is no secret that communication is one of the key aspects to a successful relationship...
Whether the relationship is of a romantic or platonic nature, the understanding is the same. Even though many of us know this, it does not necessarily make it easier to navigate.
READ: Stacey & JSbu ask KZN what their love language is
Such is true for alpha male, J Sbu.
Relationships come with expectations and we all have our own visions of what we expect and need from our significant others. Some may want someone who is caring and attentive, whilst some of us may look for something as simple as someone who makes them laugh.
READ: At what stage in a relationship would you say is when you really get to know someone?
Physical chemistry and compatibility are very often talked about and many rank that way up in their 'needs' when look for a potential mate.
However, there is one particular aspect of a relationship that not only matters, but often gets overlooked and is hard to articulate - emotional connection.
As humans, we want to feel wanted, loved and seen and for J Sbu, this could not be truer. Yes, you shouldn't expect to fulfill all of your emotional needs in a relationship, but your partner should be providing support in the areas that are important to you, right?
Feeling emotionally fulfilled in a romantic relationship is so important for me, which may be something that is not expected from as a man. Yes, sure being attracted to someone physically and having those needs met is great but if I feel like I do not have an emotional connection with you, if I feel like I cannot open up to you that is a problem and this has often been a stumbling block in many of my relationships.
When this happens to J Sbu he immediately shuts down.
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His needs not being met in this aspect have often led to him looking elsewhere and led to infidelity.
Stacey Norman is a conflict avoider and having to have a sit down with her romantic partner to share what she feel is lacking is not something that comes naturally to her. In fact, the fear of what she may say being taken in the wrong way is enough to make her swallow her fears and suffer in silence.
Because If I go like...'listen babe, xyz makes me feel some type of way and I need way more from you' that makes me terrified. I am a person who in general over compensates, so if something is lacking I would double it up for both of us. I am a big supporter of therapy, having a third party to help mitigate the conversation is essential I believe. It then is a safe place.
According to a recent study, the following signs are evident when your emotional needs are not being met in a relationship:
- Feeling resentful
- Minimizing your needs
- Withdrawing
- Picking fights
- Seeking attention elsewhere
Have you ever been in a relationship where your significant other did not fulfill your needs?
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