EXCLUSIVE: Can you handle taking in honest feedback from someone you love?
Truth be told, we all have those adverse reactions when faced with confrontation...
Having difficult conversations is normal in relationships.
Sometimes you are the one doing the confronting or being confronted by your loved ones.
In order to avoid conflict, one needs to know what the intentions of the person are, what led to this conversation, as well as how you react when faced with confrontation.
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This is our #StudioMoment where our duo has some real talk:
J Sbu had to receive some feedback from Stacey recently and even though her intentions were great and the approach was very respectful, as soon as she said they needed to talk, his human instinct was to be tense and defensive.
Even though Stacey was acting in the best interest of J Sbu, as well as honouring their relationship, his innate reaction did not aid in having this conversation.
Human nature and nurture plays a big role in how you react to confrontation. Knowing how you react will help you realise how to better accept this honest feedback from a loved one.
We all know those "we need to talk moments" all too well, so we decided to ask our listeners:
"When it comes to your loved one's, how do you react when they give you feedback on your behaviour or how you treated them. Do you get defensive or are you open to hearing what they have to say?"
Their responses were as follows:
- "For me it depends on the situation that determines my reaction."
- "I am very straight forward and on point. I might come across rude cos I say it like it is whether is a personal relationship or work. Otherwise I m good."
- "Honesty is the best policy and if someone is being honest and open about someone's behaviour, which was not called for, there's no need to over react. One must accept that there isn't always a certain way to approach any problem."
- "I am told that I have a very strong personality and thought that was my strength. But I have been told at times by my better half that I have hurt him and that makes me very sad so after 17 years of marriage I have been able to think before I say things."
- "No better way than to be transparent and say it like it is. I will apologise if I am wrong and I always take responsibility for my actions be it right or wrong."
- " I am a very calm but can be fierce at times ...I will only apologise if I'm wrong and I don't take nonsense from anybody."
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J Sbu shared his sentiments and the resolution of the conversation...
After reading the comments, J Sbu said: "I am glad to see that I am not the only one who has some things to work on LOL, I just recently had to take in feedback."
He later shared his conclusion on the feedback he received, as well as what he did to make things right.
Even though Stacey's approach to having"the talk" was great and I knew what her intentions were, it did not make it easy to receive the feedback. I automatically tensed up and wanted to fire back saying how I felt she was judging me or being over critical. So I reacted the way I did, but thought about it and went back to her and apologised because I want her to be able to call me out on things and vice versa (that is important).
Facing feedback is never easy, however, knowing the intentions of the person behind the constructive criticism is very important.
Not taking it too close to heart and addressing the problem at hand is what results in a positive interaction.
Here's to hoping your next feedback moment goes smoothly.
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