What I’ve learned as a black woman dating a white man

LISTEN AS KZN WEIGHS IN ON INTERRACIAL DATING. 

Getting into an interracial relationship has never been on my bucket list, or been a dream of mine.

It wasn’t even something I really gave any serious thought. But  I knew I could not be with a black man. No that was NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!! Wait let me finish.

You see black men have never left a good taste in my mouth. Growing up the black man had a bad reputation, he was never home, he beat his woman, he is disrespectful to the black woman etc.

So I was always reluctant to date within my own race and no way was I going to walk into the nightmare I witnessed EVERYDAY!

Yes I have dated black men and those that I was in relations with have proven me right,  and no I never went in looking for their flaws but I found them over time. 

So being with someone from another race was ideal for me, I thought. Because growing up the white man was Ridge from the Bold and the beautiful, he was James Bond and could do anything.

So being with a white man in the black community I thought would elevate my status.

Yes I fell in love, but I thought it would also mean I would have a different social status. That I would have access to more things, and more doors would be open for me cause I had a white man on my arm.

The reality, however, is much more complex. My partner has different flaws that I was not expecting because they hadn’t been emphasised on a daily basis in my own house or the media.

The cultural differences also make it complicated to address certain issues.

They too are far from perfect and being with a white person has not changed how I’m seen.

It does not elevate status unless he is rich and has a status of his own, otherwise, all it does is just gets you noticed in public.

People point and gossip and some even go as far as saying you’re better because you’re with a person from a different race. It's very complicated.

Do you think that dating a person from a different race changes your social status?