#UrbanHotline: Should I give my boyfriend money to pay my lobola?

Listen as Thandolwethu shares her views on this woman's dilemma:

"Hi Thandolwethu

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years.

Over the last year and a half, things have gotten serious and he’s made his intentions known that he wants to marry me.

As a result, he’s been trying to save up and over the past year he’s even been picking up extra shifts at work and working on the side to save up money for lobola.

This past weekend his family met my family to negotiate lobola and they asked for R65 000 which is much more than the R40 000 he had.

My family is very strict, and they’ve said the wedding won’t go ahead unless he meets their demands.

My boyfriend has asked me to loan him the money and he says he’ll pay me back after the wedding.

I feel bad because I know how hard he’s worked, and I don’t want my demanding family to be the reason why I lose such a committed man and I do have the money.

But on the other hand, I know that loaning him money like this is risky and I might not get it back and I also feel like he might lose respect for me if I agree to give him the money.

This is also against the tradition of lobola and I think it will cause problems in our relationship. Please help, I don’t know what to do.

Anonymous from somewhere in Durban"

What do you think Anonymous should do? Should she give the money or not? Let us know below.