Durban woman shares survival tips for being a 'Makoti'
A Durban woman has turned to the
Twittersphere to give advice on some of the do's and don’ts of being a bride, and how to survive family gatherings.
Seeking relationship advice online could be the best thing you’ve ever done - or a complete disaster.
There isn’t a 'one solution fits all' and all advice must be applied within context.
However, Hillcrest resident Nomonde Ntinga took to her Twitter account to share a thread of some practical advice for how brides can make their lives easier during family gatherings. This may well be the solution to all your problems!
The advice covered everything from division of duties to snacking hacks.
Click and listen to Nomonde's full interview with Thandolwethu and read the full thread below:
1. Offer to do a task in the list first before they are assigned. I always buying scones(ordered and repacked them into my own buckets 🙃), butternut potatoes and onion (fruit and veg and asked them peel and dice for a little extra.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
2. Pack your refreshments and snacks in a lunch cooler that you will carry in the boot.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
3. Always pack a cooler filled with your kids meals and snacks, ensure to pack a little extra for the other cousins that they might be playing with. Just don’t bring it out for everyone to see because it’s either you will be chastised for the fancy snacks or everyone will dig in
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
4. Invite 2 or 3 good friends/cousins/ sister to help you with the chopping and cleaning and do the same for them. Or bring your Anti, please pay her more for the extra work she will be doing.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
5. There is always a local group of mamas who are willing to do some of the hard chores like dishes and cleaning pots for a little something from the mobile fridge or extra money.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
6. Sharpen your cooking for a crowd skills. Cooks don’t chop, they get served meals and you get to hear all the gossip. If you happen to cook beetroot make sure you have gloves handy.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
7. Always come with atleast 10 sharp knives, 2 packs of dishclothes, amaphinifa x3, 2 x2ltres of sunlight liquid, 3 domestos, 4 mops and 2 buckets. These are things that run out quickly. Pack them safely or in the car so they are readily available when you need them.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
8. Always have toilet paper. It’s a commodity. Pack an overnight bag, just in case plan change(they often do)
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
9. If your family loves tea, invest in an Urn, buy sugar and milk sachets from local restaurant suppliers and set up a tea station (if they are not fussy about being served), but serving tea will be easier this way.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
Just make sure the urn is not used for heating bathing water.
10. Get the new family Anti on your side by sliding a little extra 💸💸 for helping you with the back breaking chores like ukugulula isisu senkomo, to clean the toilets, to clean ikhaya elikhulu, when she helps you run after your little ones, ukuklina amabhodwe esiZulu.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
11. Dish for the strategic people in the family before the food is transferred into the cheffing dishes. Make sure they east first to avoid being pulled in 3 different directions.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
12. Try and avoid being in charge of the distribution of food, it’s a headache.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
13. Juice always runs out make sure there is a secret stash you can pull out when it does. Normally it’s abantu balayikhaya that don’t get.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
14. Forgot this with the cooking part. Make sure there is some extra food that is left over to avoid cooking supper later on. Transfer enough food into smaller pots for later.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
Oh forgot chopping boards. Bring atleast 2. And ensure to label all your cutlery, Tupperware, crockery, pots etc...label everything!!! It’s painful to keep replenishing.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
Sleeping arrangements are key. A near by bnb is the best but this must be top secret because family vacan take offense.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
If there are no extreme family dynamics nudge hubby to build a nice outbuilding ngaphandle that whenever y’all visit can sleep in.
But please don’t build a mansion outbuilding with a geyser and flushing toilet and your parents have asbestos roof, a geyser encikiselayo namanzi ashisayo.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
Do the right thing and fix the family home first before niyoncebeleka in the outbuilding 🙏🏽
If your new family comes from the rural areas with limited water infrastructure for baths and showers invest in a gas burner that can heat bath water in a big pot. This way you free up the space for the stove to be used. pic.twitter.com/e0oDYntpQt
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
Ave ningamavila 🤣🤣🤣 Kanti what do y’all do at home and in your houses (just kidding)
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
No one is expected to do all of this at once. You grow into some of these things. Imendo ayifani. Some people marry into really poor families and don’t have some of the privileges we have
Some find themselves as the chief Makoti(in this case, I did). Some women marry men who are the first ones in their family to make a decent living and or successful.
— Mphephethwa🇿🇦 (@MaBhusulaGc) August 22, 2018
If you marry into a well off family, well great babes the majority don’t and some families are backward.
The thread quickly went viral, with thousands of people sharing it on the platform and adding what they think should be taken out or included in it.
Read: Man turns to Twitter for advice on relationship agreement
What do you think of the thread and what have you done to impress the in-laws at family gatherings?