The issues of extending your family with a new partner
Divorce cannot be easy for any family to endure, especially the children involved. However, you might find yourself remarrying and wanting to grow the family, but ensuring the original family is happy is key to making this work.
Listen to Julia Green, Clinical Psychologist, discuss the topic, then read more below:
A friend of mine, after years of being a single mom to her two darling little daughters, has found love, but the new partner has expressed his desire to become a father.
Read: Do or don't: Keeping your husband's name after divorce
She is now in a predicament as she isn't keen to extend the family because she and her two girls have found a rhythm and routine that works for them. The thought of going back into small baby mode terrifies her.
She also went on to say that she doesn't think her daughters will take well to a demanding baby, as they already battle to share their mother's attention.
Read: What you need to know about divorce
I could not offer her much in the way of advice, so I sought out the help of Julia Green (check out the podcast above), and these are some of the things she touched on:
- Consider the existing children's emotional needs based on their age.
- Make room for discussion with everyone that will be directly affected.
- Parents must stay attuned to the feelings and reactions of the children when it comes to discussions about a new child.
Read: Do you want a divorce but are dependent on your spouse?
What I have gathered from Julia is that each family will react differently, so there is no precise script to follow, but that communication is vital.
If you have been in this situation, how did your child deal with the extension of the family?