The Woolies Birkin: A bag so nice, you buy it everytime

Updated March 5, 2025, 5:57 a.m. | By East Coast Breakfast / Skyye Ndlovu

At this point, Woolies isn't selling groceries – they're running a reusable bag subscription service, and let's be honest, we're all signed up!

The Woolies Birkin bag / woolworths.co.za

Ah, Woolworths. The Harvard of South African retail. With their top-tier quality groceries, effortlessly stylish clothes, and stores that somehow always smell like fresh linen and financial responsibility. It’s no wonder we love them.

Recently, Woolies made the switch from classic plastic bags to reusable ones. You know, the ones you buy at the till, swear you’ll bring next time, and then promptly forget at home – ensuring you have to buy another one. Again. And again. And again.

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TikTok user Mitch Matyana hilariously called out what we all know but refuse to admit: the Woolies Birkin – the elite, high-fashion tote (okay, just a shopping bag) that we unintentionally collect like Pokémon cards.

Each purchase feels like a fresh start. "This time, I swear I won’t forget it!"

Spoiler alert: You will.

Seriously, let's be honest. By the time you reach Woolies, your so-called reusable bag is sitting at home, in the car, or lost in the abyss of that kitchen drawer.

And then?

Another R8 down the drain. Woolies is winning, and we’re just funding their reusable bag empire one forgotten tote at a time.

@mitchmatyana Woolies might need to pay need to pay some rent cause a whole draw is crazy. It’s my fault but still 😭😭😭😭 #fyp #foryoupage #woolworths #woolies #shopping #shoppingbags #groceryshopping #groceries ♬ original sound - Mitch Matyana

The comment section of this video was pure gold.

@Zamaphanga Dlalisa nailed it: “Woolworths is totally doing black magic on us because we use that bag for everything except buying groceries at Woolworths. You only remember them when you’re at the store.”

@Alex tried to be proactive: “Keep one in the car door. One in the boot. One in your backpack. One at work.” (Respectfully, Alex, some of us barely remember our keys.)

Then there’s @RainbowMurielMedia, speaking for the people: “At least you forgot it at home. I remembered to take them to the car. Guess what? I forgot them in the car.”

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So maybe (just maybe) the problem isn’t us. Maybe these Woolies bags are so thrilled to escape that they’re secretly brainwashing us into leaving them behind.

It's a reusable bag with commitment issues – “You’ll never take me alive!”

We see you, Woolworths, and we’ll probably see you at the till buying another one next week.