The reasons why Darren Maule chooses to be single
Why not just stay single? Here is a list of reasons why I choose to be single. I have been single for eight years now, so I consider myself a bit of a veteran and dare I say, an expert.
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The best part about being single is being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and in every sense of the phrase: No compromise!
I don’t know why compromise is lauded as an admirable quality. Every time you compromise you sacrifice a bit of your authenticity and after years of chipping away at yourself after countless compromises, you lose any semblance of your true character and eventually grow to resent the person who made you do it.
That said, here are eleven reasons I choose to stay single:
- I can go out and have coffee with absolutely anyone who piques my interest. Many of the most fascinating people I know are also very sexy women. I love that we can engage anywhere, anytime on any topic without the fear that tongues will start wagging, the gossip mill goes into overdrive, and no matter how ‘stable’ and confident your partner feels they are - the green-eyed monster will raise its head and the Spanish Inquisition is not far off. “Why do you spend so much time with her?”, "Why does she make you laugh and I don’t?”, “You want her, don’t you?!”. It breaks my heart that the moment you enter into a relationship, society dictates what is acceptable behaviour and who is considered the congenial company. Once you enter into a relationship you literally have to cut out 50% of possible fascinating engagements purely because of their sex. I will not do that. Women are my favourite sex and the more of them I have in my life the better.
- Self-love is more rewarding. So few people learn to love themselves and they seek validation through a relationship.
- NO IN-LAWS!
- Drinking milk or orange juice straight out of the box or bottle. Winning.
- I am bad at relationships. I have had many, many, many intimate relationships, many exceeding three years, and they have ALL, without fail, ended badly. I’m just not good at them and I invariably end up losing a good friend.
- I have the entire bed to myself and no one steals the duvet.
- I don’t have to leave the room to fart and I can leave the door open when I poop. This is actually very important because what happens when nature calls and you have to watch the last two overs of a cricket game?
- I can binge watch a series on Netflix in my own time.
- No petty conflicts.
- I can change and evolve at my own pace without any pressure to do so.
- The big one - sex. I feel we are overly preoccupied with sex. If you think of all the hours and days and months and years we are in a relationship and count up the minutes engaged in intercourse, it isn’t much of a return on investment. Besides, if you’re in a relationship just to get laid, you’re missing out on all the marvel and grandeur of the human experience.
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