The Janu-worry food crisis!

The hardest part of eeking out the remnants of your December salary as you wait until January pay day is definitely the not being able to eat good food!  You can survive without just about everything else except the food.

So here are a few ways to survive the hunger pangs:

1.     Live on company coffee. You might usually like your 3 bean exotic roast but if you can’t afford it… suck it up and drink the office swill.

2.     Accept all invites to company events;

They tend to cater. Also, look out for any launches or promotions in your area, there is always food there.

3.     Don’t be shy to ask your work colleague; “Are you going to eat the rest of that?”

4.     Take your Boss to Lunch and then reveal that you ‘forgot’ your wallet/purse at home and you’ll get the next one.

5.     This is a good time to start that diet; one of the best dieting tricks is to drink a big glass of water before a meal. You will eat less and have more food for later.

6.     Go to an art gallery; Check out if there is an exhibition – they always cater and you might even get some champagne!

7.     Go fishing! If you can’t fish, pop down to the beach where the fishermen are and trade some clothes or any humble, but valuable, paraphernalia for one of their fish.

8.     Raid that pantry. You’d be amazed what you can create out of corned beef, chickpeas, pasta screws and broccoli! When in doubt just add garam masala (it makes everything taste good…)

9.     Go home. Mom and Dad can’t and won’t say no to a visit – Plant the seed though; “Hey Mom, I bet you can’t remember how to make that 3 cheese lasagne anymore…” I have been known to use this technique with the ex-mother in law!

10.  Fast; there was this guy once who fasted for 40 days and 40 nights and still came out on top. I’m not saying go that far but it could be a last resort for two or three days till you get paid.

All of this goes out the window if you have a family to feed; if that is the case then I recommend you sell your body. I don’t mean in the carnal sense, I mean – Do you know how much you can get for a kidney on the right market? If you are considering this… shame on you!