The great tariff tantrum: Trump against the world

Updated April 8, 2025, 8:27 a.m. | By East Coast Breakfast / Skyye Ndlovu

Trump’s trade war just got weirder – import taxes, BRICS drama, and a 50% tariff on Lesotho.

Welcome to 2025, where nothing makes sense but everything’s taxed.

In a stunning plot twist worthy of a 'Fast & Furious' sequel, President Donald Trump has declared war – not on a nation, though, but on imported goods.

That’s right. Cheese from France? Taxed.

Headphones from Vietnam? Taxed.

A unicorn-shaped mug from Lesotho? You bet it’s taxed, at 50%.

ALSO READ: Did Trump get ChatGPT to do his homework?

In a move he dubbed Liberation Day (because calling it Tariffgeddon might’ve been too honest), Trump slapped a universal 10% tax on all imports and then went full Oprah.

“You get a 50% tariff! You get a 49% tariff! Everybody gets a tariff!”

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the top 10 victims of this economic WWE match:

Lesotho: 50%, for reasons known only to the tariff gods.
Cambodia: 49%, clearly guilty of exporting too many cute textiles.
Laos: 48%, their crime? Possibly… peace.
Madagascar: 47%, because – lemurs.
Vietnam: 46%, they just can’t win.
Myanmar and Sri Lanka: 44%, a beautiful tie, like prom queens of pain.
Iraq: 39%, presumably for oil, but who knows anymore.
Guyana: 38%, someone Googled it and hit “add to list”.
Bangladesh: 37%, the humble t-shirt finally faces its reckoning.

So why should South Africans care? Well, all your imported drip, gadgets, and Instagrammable goodies are about to cost the same as a Woolies chicken.

If you thought our customs delays were bad, wait until your online cart gives you a heart attack.

To get a better understanding of the tariff wars, Darren, Sky and Carmen asked the innocent kids of KZN to explain what they think Trump’s tariffs are. Sadly, they’re just as confused as we are.

Have a listen to some of the answers.

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Meanwhile, China retaliated. They hit Trump back with a 34% tariff, and Trump threatened another 50% in response.

At this rate, trading goods between the US and China will require both a budget and a therapist.

Honestly, at this point, it’s cheaper to fly to China, buy your goods, and swim back with them.

So, Mzansi, brace yourselves. The world’s economy is on vibes, Trump’s running it like it’s a stokvel he doesn’t trust, and somehow Lesotho caught a 50% tariff stray.

In the meantime, buy local, and if your uncle tries to import anything, tell him to start hustling like it’s 2008 again.

Stay unbothered, stay lekker, and remember: if all else fails, we’ve still got pap.