Friendship: The real ones vs the fake ones

Updated April 4, 2025, 7:04 a.m. | By East Coast Breakfast / Skyye Ndlovu

Not all friendships are created equal – some are real, some are fake, and some are just here for the snacks. Let’s break it down!

Friendship is one of the most beautiful (and occasionally frustrating) things in life. It’s the family we choose, the people who show up at our lowest and celebrate us at our highest.

Yet not all friendships are created equal. Some are ride-or-die, others are convenience-based, and then there are those that exist simply because you always have snacks at your house.

So, what makes a real friend? And how do you know if someone is genuinely in your corner or just along for the free Wi-Fi?

Let’s break it down.

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5 different types of friends

1. The lifers (ride-or-dies)

These are the friends who know your worst secrets and still like you.

They’ve seen you cry over things that didn’t deserve tears (like when your UberEats order got cancelled) and have been there for your biggest wins.

The lifers are like human seatbelts. They keep you safe, even when you don’t realise you need it. You could go months without talking, but when you do, it feels like no time has passed.

They’ll hype you up when you’re winning and sit with you in silence when you’re breaking down.

Lifers don’t just tell you what you want to hear, they tell you what you need to hear – sometimes with tough love, but always with your best interests at heart.

Example: Remember that friend who stopped you from texting your ex at 2 am? That’s a real one.

2. The party friends (good vibes only)

The party friends are the life of the party and the first to send a “Where are we going tonight?” text on a Friday. These are the friends who will turn a boring night into a legendary one.

They know all the best spots, always have a new crazy story, and bring the energy wherever they go.

Deep conversations though? Not really their thing. If you call them crying, they’ll probably say, “Damn, that sucks” and change the subject to where you’re jolling this weekend.

They’re great for good times, but never a crisis. They’ll make sure your funeral is lit though.

Example: The friend who hypes you up at the club but disappears when you need help moving apartments.

3. The work bestie (it's not personal)

The work bestie makes your job bearable. They’re your lunch-break therapist, your email-rant partner, and the only reason you haven’t rage-quit yet.

Work besties have a special bond. You understand each other’s professional pain, share inside jokes about your clueless boss, and coordinate coffee runs like a synchronised team.

Do you ever hang out outside of work, though? Probably not.

You bond over complaining about your boss, share snacks, and send memes all day.

Example: The colleague you text, “I swear if one more email comes in, I’m quitting” at least twice a week.

4. The nostalgia friend (your roots)

The nostalgia friend is the friend you’ve known forever, but if you met today, you probably wouldn’t be.

You grew up together, made countless memories, and maybe even have embarrassing old photos of each other.

The problem? You don’t actually have much in common anymore. These friendships run on history, not present-day connection.

You still care about them, but conversations often feel like a highlight reel of the past rather than a true bond in the present.

Example: The childhood friend you only see at weddings and funerals but still tag in “Remember this?” posts.

5. The opportunist (it's all fake)

This one stings. Some people are only around for what they can get. These people love you… when it benefits them.

They’ll be all over you when you have something to offer, but the moment you need something? Crickets.

Opportunists might disguise themselves as “supportive” friends, but their actions always serve themselves first.

They’ll borrow money and forget to pay it back, use your connections without giving credit, and mysteriously disappear when you’re struggling. Real friends give, fake friends take.

Example: The one who disappears when you need help but suddenly remembers you exist when they need a favour.

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So, how do you tell if someone is truly your friend? These are a few signs:

They show up – not just for the fun times, but even when things get tough.

They listen, and not just to respond. They genuinely care about what you’re saying.

They support you, even if they don’t fully understand your dreams. If you say, “I want to rob a bank”, a real friend will say, “Okay, let’s do some research” (don’t do this though).

They keep it real with you. If your outfit is terrible, they’ll tell you, but with love.

They respect boundaries. They don’t guilt-trip you or make you feel bad for saying no or when you decide to focus on yourself. They understand that life gets busy and will never hate you, no matter how long you don't see each other.

Friendships should be easy, not in the “we never have problems” way, but in a “I can be myself around you” way.

The best friendships aren’t about constant communication or grand gestures; they’re about consistency, effort, and mutual respect.

So, cherish your real ones, cut off the fake ones, and if you’re only here for my snacks? At least bring some of your own next time.