EPL Season is here!
For the next 10 months, football fans will be glued to their television sets because the English Premier League 2019/20 season begins! Darren and Sky have come up with a few rules for others to follow.
Darren and Sky came up with a few rules which need to be followed by non-football lovers.
This is the boy's list:
- From August - May the TV belongs to the men
- Walking in front of the TV is strictly forbidden
- The replays of the goals and VERY IMPORTANT!, Yes I’ve seen the goal already, Yes I wanna it again, NO I don’t wanna hear from you!
- If my team lose DO NOT SAY “It’s only a game/get over it/they’ll win next time”
- All love and affection must wait until half time or when the game is over
- All other events that happens during the premier league like weddings, funerals, birthdays and braais MUST be discussed before agreeing to go
- Do NOT ask us how to explain the offside rule (even we don’t know)
But Keri was not going to accept these rules without speaking up for the ladies. This she what she came up with:
- Rule one – headphones must also be worn at all times. Or I will counter the tv noise with the best of Britney spears. Full blast
- As of today the TV will been moved to the corner of the room with your chair and out of the way of humans actually living their lives.
- I understand this one, when I met you, you had a flat stomach and a romantic flair, I would love to see that again too. Guess somethings just aren’t replayable.
- Don’t tell me your team scores – and I won’t tell you it’s just a game.
- You think after seeing fit young men all sweaty and well paid running around for however many minutes will make me want to...
- Your brother has already agreed to be my plus one.
- The only thing offside is this ridiculous list of yours
- Do not question why I swiped your card in the afternoon when I used it already in the morning.
Also read: Keri Miller explains why the Proteas lost and what they can do to succeed