KZN woman discovers boyfriend's 'flirtatious' WhatsApp chats

The pull of your partners unlocked phone is like nothing else, and because that temptation to snoop is quite common, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

Read: Is knowing the password to your partner's phone important to you?

According to psychologists, if you’re snooping, it's usually a sign that there are bigger communication issues going on that need to be addressed. So why do we do it then? Is it because we have our own worries or insecurities about our relationship which have developed into actual fears, or is it because we want to physically catch our partner red-handed?

This is the case for Sarisha*, a KZN woman who has found herself in a pickle after uncovering a flirtatious WhatsApp chat with her best friend, Samantha*, and her boyfriend, Ashley*. 

Sarisha took to our WhatsApp line to seek help about her moral dilemma. Here's the message that she sent to us:

"Damon, I need your assistance. For the past few days, I'm going back and forth, and I feel like I'm going crazy. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years and things are going well with us - or I thought they were. He has been acting strange for the past few weeks - always glued to his phone, and constantly having a guilty look on his face. I could not shake off the feeling that something was wrong. So I did what any partner would do - I went through his phone and boy-oh-boy was I surprised or what. Okay, I know maybe I was wrong to snoop, but do you blame me? I found some flirty messages between him and my best friend, and now I don't know what I should do and who I should confront first."

I contacted Sarisha to find out if it was okay if we talk about this on-air, and if she could share the screenshots of the conversation. She agreed but asked me to conceal their real identity. 

"Samantha and Ashley were civil to each other for my sake, but never too friendly, hence I was surprised when I saw the messages," she said. 

Sarisha added that she gave never gave Samantha's number to Ashley. 

Take a look at the conversation below which has left Sarisha concerned. 

Samantha to Ashley 

Ashley to Samantha

I must be honest, I am a bit divided here. On the one hand, was it right for Sarisha to snoop through her boyfriend's phone? Is he not entitled to privacy? But on the other hand, she could have sat him down and questioned him about his behaviour. I am off the firm belief that communication is critical in any relationship - especially when you get a feeling that you can't shake off. 

Read: Does your partner have any weird or strange habits?

So the big question is: Does Sarisha have the right to confront her best friend and boyfriend? Do you think their conversation was inappropriate?

*Not their real names