Parents' screen time habits affect children's usage
A parent realises that how her kids view screen time is based on how she and her husband use screen time.
As parents, we rarely self-reflect on our adult choices before handing our kids the do's and don'ts. Who can honestly say that they mirror what they want their kids to do?
You're on a positive path if you can, but if you don't, read on...
A parent wrote an essay about her experience limiting screen time for her kids. Instead of approaching it from a place of 'no screentime,' she included her kids in the conversation.
Screen time rules can get messy as kids yearn for their digital devices and believe that limiting screens is a form of punishment.
Tiffany Nieslanik wrote in the Business Insider, "When we talk about screen time rules, we usually think about giving them to kids. However, I didn't realize how much my screen time affected my kids."
You must admit that is an interesting perspective that goes unnoticed. As adults, we sometimes reign as dictators and expect our kids to listen to everything we say because we are the parents, and they are the kids.
However, this mindset will not help us connect in our relationships or grow as a family.
"One of the things the kids mentioned was that their father and I were also often on our screens, specifically our phones.
They were confused by the fact that we essentially had no rules around our screen use, and they were also frustrated that sometimes they wanted our full attention but couldn't get it. This shifted my perspective, and I realised our conversation wasn't just about their screens; it had to be about the whole family's habits." (Business Insider)
Nieslanik found that their kids did not understand their motives for using their phones, even if it involved something productive. For the kids, it was about having undivided attention. As a family, they navigated through the titbits to find what worked for all of them regarding their screentime habits.
I've seen firsthand how modeling awareness and good screen habits for my kids has helped them have more awareness and self-regulation. The rules don't seem arbitrary, and they apply to everyone. This has lessened the tension around screen time in our house, and while I can't say the house is magically calmer.
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Of course, there's no clear-cut formula for approaching this because all families differ. But the approach sounds positive and worth a try.
Nieslanik also shared that her kids are learning boundaries around screen time. She shared that including them in the conversation helped empower them to take more ownership of their screen time. She recognised a noticeable difference in her children's behaviour, where their yelling was more "play-based" as opposed to "meltdown-based."
"For me, the end goal has never been eliminating screens but finding a better balance and more harmony as a family. And I'm happy to say we achieved that. For now, anyway." (Business Insider)
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