Are husbands causing more stress to their wives than the kids?
A research study revealed some interesting insights about the sources of stress to mothers/wives.
Being a woman can be challenging. You must wear several hats: career woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and more.
The rewards always outweigh the stresses, but this doesn't mean that the stress isn't overwhelming. Fulfilling these roles can become tedious and strain relationships and bonds.
Stereotypically, the roles women and men fulfilled in the household have been different. But those roles have adapted, with many men taking on more home responsibilities.
"So it's probably unsurprising that a study by Today of over 7,000 mothers asked to report their stress levels gave the average stress level of 8.5 out of 10 per mum. Their biggest reported stressor? Their partners. For 46 per cent of those mums, partners are a bigger source of stress than kids." (Goodto.com)
It was revealed that one of the biggest stressors for women was that they didn't have enough time to complete all their tasks. Sadly, one in five women who participated in the study said they were not receiving enough help from their partners.
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Georgina Sturmer, who is a BACP registered counsellor, said: "Maybe there’s simmering anger or resentment about pulling our weight in household tasks or in decisions around money, home life, socialising, etc. There are many potential triggers for disagreement, and we are often tired or overwhelmed by the physical or mental load of everything that needs to be done. This sometimes means that instead of finding our co-parents supportive, we can feel as if they are adding an extra weight to our lives." (Goodto.com)
But don't feel defeated; there is hope. Sturmer shares a few tips for parents when they feel stressed out by one another:
1. Dig deeper to figure out what's truly troubling you. Sometimes, it's not the mediocre stuff on the surface that triggers you but rather something below the surface. Is it about not loading the dishwasher properly or something about your relationship? "When we untangle what’s annoying us, it helps us to make sense of what we’re feeling."
2. Communication is always crucial in relationships. Once you figure out what's troubling you, please inform your partner. "The silent treatment, slamming doors, talking over each other. Imagine what it would be like to calmly and sensitively express your feelings. Use ‘I statements’ to express your feelings, rather than making it feel like an attack on the other person."
3. Being open to constructive feedback is vital in any relationship, especially when you are co-parenting.
4. Remember the love in the marriage outside of parenting. Often, we forget to nurture our marriage or relationship when we become parents. This role of parenthood becomes the be-all and end-all of our bond. This is unhealthy for our relationships; make time for one another outside your parenting roles and responsibilities.
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