#AppreciationMonday: "I'm a working mom and I'm exhausted"
The never ending 'to-do' lists that are taking over our lives as parents...
There's no doubt that when it comes to parenting, it's no easy task. Whether that entails the choices we make when it comes to raising our children, or having enough hours in a day to complete everything that we are responsible for.
You will often hear parents say that there is never enough time to do everything. It's easy to get lost in the busy nature of life, to get caught up and forget that you need time to yourself.
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Very often you get jolted into reality when your health takes a knock or you lose a loved one and then you are reminded that life is short. If anything, death or near-death experiences do that. They remind us to prioritise and that you are only one person.
Time is the number one thing that everyone struggles with, trying to get enough of it, making it work in your favour or stretching what time you do have...
We decided to shed some light about what it actually means to be a parent by sharing this mother's story. She starts off her story by saying that after actually listing out loud all the things that she does in a day, the list itself sounded overwhelming...
The other day, as I was answering the simple question of "How did your day go?" which my husband always asks as we pick up our kids from school, I went through the list of all the things I had done for work. It was a lot and still didn't feel like enough. Then I paused and started listing all the things I did outside work, and it was even more.
Her list started off with packing lunches, getting the kids to school, going to work, doing her list of work 'to-dos', and then coming home, helping with the kids, spending time with them, putting them to bed, cleaning up, and then finally taking a chance to have a good cry.
This isn't something that is openly spoken out. As parents we are expected to have it all together for our children. Of course their well being is top priority, but what happens when we keep putting everyone else first and we don't concentrate on our own well being and mental state of mind?
We can firmly say that we don't want to even imagine what would happen. Because that is scary. Again, it takes us to that mindset of how would our kids cope if we were not around...
It's hard to articulate all this to child-free people. First because, yes, I chose this life. But also because time is not mine anymore, and that is a concept you don't truly get until you have a baby. There is no downtime when you have kids.
But why should we have to? It doesn't diminish the fact that you are trying to be the best parent you can be. Life is not about comparing and it certainly isn't about shaming people for being in circumstances that are out of their control.
Sink or swim, and sometimes even when you swim, it feels like you need a floater for help. It is certainly true that it takes a village to raise a child, so imagine having three, all under the age of four.
We are sure that Carol Ofori can understand this situation and we wanted to use this post to encourage other mothers (and fathers) out there to hang in there.
You are seen, you are appreciated, and remember it's not always going to be this busy - and you are doing great!
We, as a society, need to keep talking about this - not only to get actual change for working parents, especially moms, but also to keep expectations realistic for those who are thinking about having kids. The world has long expected parents to work full time and raise children without a safety net. The pandemic just put it in front of everyone's eyes.
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