10 commandments of Moses Mabhida Stadium

1. Thou shalt take the name of your team and no other. The PSL is the only franchise to be recognized in this land. You will not find us United at Moses.

 

2. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors seat or his chesa nyama or his raincoat.

 

3. Thou shalt not adulterate Moses with litter, urine, fermented drinks containers or lewd language or expletives.

 

4. Thou shalt not steal from investors and organizers by scalping tickets for exorbitant coinage outside Moses' gates.

 

5. Thou shalt not lie on the outer fields for you have lost all use of faculties for you have imbibed the fermented grape like it was water.

 

6. Thou shalt not bare false witness to your wife or employer that you have left their kingdom to attend thy brother's wedding and then arrive before Moses with lies in your heart.

 

7. Thou shalt not kill the referee or linesman for they are ignorant and have forgotten the face of glory. (Unless they do not follow these commandments because then when they leave the protection of Moses' walls they will be taken to the bus lot and stoned.

 

8. Thou shalt not revel so in the moment that you take a lady of the night for in the morning you will arise with a burning bush and and the fire of hell will infest your loins.

 

9. Remember the Sabbath follows the Derby and you do not want to hide your face in shame for the day at Moses should be observed and remembered.

 

10. Honor thy Mother and Father with tickets too, so they may observe you and take pictures and tweet how proud they are for their children come to Moses with their hopes and prayers.

 

(Whom so ever taketh these commandments and alters them or takes them as their own without reference to the author will suffer no misfortune or iniquity as no copyright was set in stone.)