Vanessa Carreira on her husband's passing: 'The last 20 months have changed me'
"My children and I have had our hearts splintered by unthinkable loss."
Former Miss South Africa Vanessa Carreira-Coutroulis says losing her husband Chris is something she never thought she would survive.
She took to Instagram for the first time since his death 20 months ago. Chris - who was a well-known nightclub owner- died after battling a long illness.
Vanessa and Chris tied the knot in 2007. They share four children together, Leo and triplets - Sophia, Mila, and Nikola.
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Vanessa has not spoken publicly about the family's devastating loss until now.
"My children and I have had our hearts splintered by unthinkable loss & the indescribable pain that chained itself to our grief. Losing my Chris is something I never thought I would survive… and yet.. here I am," she wrote in a lengthy post.
Vanessa says her family and friends have helped them navigate life without her beloved husband.
"I have been & continue to be, carried by the love of our beautiful children and the support, care and understanding of our phenomenal family & friends. The last 20 months have changed me in ways I do not yet fully understand and I know that the effects of losing their beloved father at such a young age, has fundamentally changed my children too."
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Vanessa says that "with profound loss, comes a profound appreciation for life, for love, for time", adding that "2023 is a year for new challenges & new opportunities".
Vanessa has decided to follow her passion this year. She is officially a pâtisserie student after being accepted into the Silwood School of Cookery.
"Chris loved my cooking & baking, and in him, my biggest fan, I found my confidence as a home cook. Over time #LikeHome was a fun way for me to share my love for food with you and I so enjoyed the time we shared together pre-covid," she wrote.
Vanessa will be sharing all on her Instagram page, @likehome_, which is dedicated to her cooking.
"I know that Chris would be my loudest cheerleader as I pursue this exciting, daunting and challenging new path."
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Vanessa's famous friends took to the comments to wish her well on her new journey.
"Most beautiful thing I’ve read of late. Nothing but the best wishes to you and your loved ones V," actress Pearl Thusi wrote.
Miss South Africa 2007 Tansey Coetzee commented: "Oh my Vee sending so much love and light to you and your kids. We are behind you all the way. Looking forward to watching your new journey unfold🫶🏽you have been missed"
Black Coffee added: "Proud of you."
Main image credit: Instagram/@vanessa_carreira