Oprah Winfrey on her painful relationship with her mother

Oprah Winfrey has shared an important lesson about forgiveness while discussing her childhood trauma.

The 71-year-old had a complicated relationship with her mother, Vernita Lee, who passed away in 2018 at 83. Lee was a teenager when she gave birth to Winfrey in 1954.

Winfrey became a troubled teen after suffering physical and emotional abuse. She was sent to live with her father, Vernon Winfrey, after falling pregnant at 14. The baby passed away shortly after she gave birth.

During a discussion about childhood trauma with psychiatrist Dr Bruce D Perry on 'The Oprah Podcast', Winfrey opened up about their relationship.

She recalled being asked to speak about her mother at a church event but couldn't think of anything to say.

"I was listening to other people tell stories about their mothers. This girl told the story of how her mother would make lunch, especially in the rain. She would pack it in a special lunch box, and she would put their galoshes with those little yellow boots at the front door, and then she'd be home to take them off."

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She added: "I was like, 'Oh my God, I don't have one memory. And so, when it came time for me to speak, I thought, 'Well what do I actually have to be grateful for?' She didn't abort me. She did the best that she knew.

"The best that she knew was not enough to feed what I needed, was not enough to make me feel whole, was not enough to make me feel valued or seen or important to her."

“It was not. But it was the best that she could do, and I gave up the hope that it could have been anything other than what she had.”

Winfrey says giving up the hope that the past could have been different helped her heal and forgive.

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Winfrey and her mother reconciled years before she passed away.

Winfrey co-wrote 'What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing' with Dr Perry in 2021. The book was featured in her recent podcast.

During the book's release, Winfrey talked about how the project helped her deal with her trauma.

"Through conversations with my co-author Dr Bruce Perry, my eyes have been opened to the fact that although I experienced abuse and trauma as a child, my brain found ways to adapt," Winfrey said in a 2021 Instagram post.

"This is where hope lives for all of us – in the unique adaptability of our miraculous brains. I hope that with our book #WhatHappenedToYou, you begin to find the tools to build a renewed sense of personal self-worth and ultimately recalibrate your responses to circumstances, situations, and relationships."

Watch the full episode of Winfrey's podcast below.