Black Coffee on his failed marriage and near death experience
Black Coffee has spoken about what went wrong in his marriage to the mother of his children, Enhle Mbali Mlotshwa, taking accountability for his part in the union ending.
Black Coffee has opened up about the accident that almost took his life in January where he was injured while on a flight to a show in Mar Del Plata in Argentina.
The megastar was speaking to Thabo Mokwele on Kaya FM.
“It was not quick. That was the most painful thing about this incident... And then I woke up in the hospital.
"It happened for maybe a minute, it gave me time to think while it was happening. I had time to pray while it was happening. I had time to hope that it was not going to be over,” said the DJ.
The DJ says he felt like he was dreaming.
“I took a nap and woke up to something that felt like a dream or nightmare and the plane was shaking violently. I opened my eyes and everyone was trying to hold on.
“Because I was sleeping, it felt like I was on a rolling car. But it was moving so violently. I fell on the floor and I still had my headphones. And the gospel song was still playing. It kept repeating ‘Hallelujah’ that made it feel like a dream because I was like, ‘What is going on here?’ and it was on loop. The song’s volume kept getting higher and higher and it felt like I had this choir or angel singing to save me,” said Black Coffee.
After coming out of the hospital, he said he reached out to musician Kabelo Mabalane who is now a pastor, and he gave his life to Jesus Christ.
READ: DJ Black Coffee: "I won't get married again"
Thabo went on to ask Coffee about his marriage to Enhle Mbali Mlotshwa. The two of them were married for eight years and have two children together.
"Can I be personal? No one gets into marriage to get out, because even when you get there, you say till death, I'm gonna fight for this. You failed?" said Thabo.
Coffee, whose real name is Nkosinathi Innocent Maphumulo, admitted to the failure and added that he failed "dismally".
He said what led to his failure was how marriage was never modelled for him by his parents.
"For me I think I modeled marriage my own way, alone, because of my upbringing and my parents failing in marriage and me not being raised by both of them.
"I created my own world where I am like 'you know when I get a chance to do this thing, I'm gonna do it this way, so much that you wanna lead in everything. You wanna cover everything, you wanna be the driver of this thing and so much that you forget that there is someone next to you," he said.
READ: Black Coffee shares update after severe travel accident
He added that he also did things that he thought would make his partner happy, but he didn't get the response he was expecting.
"Every time I would make a move that I thought was big for us, and it wasn't received like that, a part of me would die. Because I'm like trust me I know how this thing is gonna work. Trust me. Let me take this thing forward," he said before Thabo interrupted and said, "Instead of trust us?".
The DJ went on to explain how he had to deal with expectations.
"I was talking to you off air that I bought my ex a very fancy car and the response wasn't what I expected. She wasn't as excited and it was like for, at the time, super fancy car. I expected her to even cry. She went like 'oh, it's nice, thank you. It set with me heavily for a long time. Someone who wasn't appreciating.
"Sometimes we are hurt and there is things we wish for people, and there are things they wish for themselves and we make a mistake of imposing our wishes on them. So, it's like me saying I wanna go to the moon. The moon is always known as the place..And then take my partner to the moon and I'm like, we are at the moon, and she is like okay, I wanna go back home," he said.
Coffee said he learned the importance of moving at the same pace with your partner.
"Until she is ready to go to the moon, then we can go together, and we both feel the same way. So there is so many of those things that hit me later."
However, the DJ said he isn't considering marriage again.
"Not to say that then I want to try marriage again. Just understanding it, I could have been easier on that. I could have taken time on that."
He added the importance of doing self-introspection after marriage.
"When you come out, it's so easy to say she is wrong, she did that, she did that, but if you gonna sit and be honest with yourself, you gonna find a lot of loopholes in the things you have done, and that's when peace comes, that's when healing comes, that's when you need to take it easy on yourself now and forgiving yourself. It's a journey man, no one is gonna come out perfect. We gonna die not perfect," he concluded on the subject of marriage.
READ: Black Coffee becomes first SA artist to fill Madison Square Gardens in NYC
More From East Coast Radio
Image courtesy of Instagram.