What marriage is really like – in tweets
We bring you 17 hilarious tweets that prove marriage can be quite funny.
Marriage is not easy, arguments and disagreements are bound to come, but great couples know that laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes all you need to do is find the funny side of a bad situation.
Finding the humour in those day-to-day annoyances and disagreements can help you move on quickly while enjoying a good laugh.
We found these hilarious tweets about marriage. Share them with your other half and see if you can spot a few of your own couple quirks.
wife [on phone] Did you preheat the oven like I asked?
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) April 16, 2017
me: Yep
wife: What temperature?
me: 534
wife: That's the clock
me
wife
me: 535
Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 10, 2015
*RSVP’ing to Christmas party*
— not the WORST mom 🤔 (@nottheworstmom) November 26, 2017
Whispering into phone: is it ok if I bring my weird roommate?
Husband, from behind me: STOP CALLING ME THAT
My wife wanted two kittens but I am the man in this house so we got two kittens
— Justin Guarini (@JustinGuarini) January 17, 2015
My husband still talks about that one time he loaded the dishwasher correctly like it's going to get our kids into Harvard.
— 10,000 pretzels (@MommaUnfiltered) July 26, 2015
WIFE: We really need to think about sticking to our monthly budget
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) February 21, 2017
ME: *feeding my pet octopus a bag of emeralds* I agree
Relationship status: My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 22, 2016
I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 15, 2017
FRIEND: what was the best day of ur life
— Brandon the Cow (@Brampersandon_) March 17, 2016
WIFE: our wedding day
ME (thinking of the time the Coke machine gave me 2 cans instead of 1): same
*wife runs back into our house which is on fire*
— The Cre Master (@Jmboyd58) April 5, 2017
What are you doing!?
W: I just want to straighten up a little before the firemen get here
"You see, when a man loves a woman very, very much, he makes her coffee," I explain to my kids while looking at my husband.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) February 17, 2017
Relationship status: My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 22, 2016
You know you've been married too long when your wife can give you the middle finger using only her eyes.
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) August 10, 2013
[Facebook announces a new dating service]
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 1, 2018
Wife: Facebook isn't for people you want to date.
Me: What is it for?
Wife: People you want to monitor from a safe distance.
When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" People always clap when she wakes up.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 18, 2015
The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences.
— TheAlexNevil, Ninja. (@TheAlexNevil) April 12, 2016
She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too.
When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) May 24, 2015