Interracial couple – “We get weird reactions from people”

Imagine meeting the love of your life and getting to know them for just a few weeks before you are separated by thousands of kilometres? That is the story of Stevens Molai from Hammanskraal and Lina from Germany. 

The two met in 2010 when Lina visited South Africa on volunteer service as part of a mission team that worked at Stevens’ church. 

Stevens recalls how he felt when he first saw Lina. He says Lina was standing alone, with no one talking to her, as the other people in the church were busy with rehearsals. 

Stevens says he approached Lina and asked how South Africa was treating her? 

“Hubby was the first person talking to me from the young people in church,” says Lina. The two joked about how Stevens made a good first impression. 

This became the first conversation of many. After four months of chatting and getting to know each other, the two lovebirds decided to start a relationship. 

“There was something special about this lady from Germany. There is just something special,” says Stevens, recalling how Lina knocked him off his feet.

Although the two were madly in love, they had to face the reality that Lina was in South Africa just for work and needed to return home. In February 2011, the couple had to part ways. 

But, as fate would have it, the two continued to chat via Skype. It was during their time apart that their love grew stronger. 

Lina and Stevens say not a day would go by without them talking. “Our dating was 80 per cent or 90 per cent long distance. Skype made it possible,” says Stevens. 

It was the passion that they had for each other that saw Lina make a return to South Africa in Easter 2012. 

Although they manage to deal with the long distance, they were scared of how people would react to their relationship. 

“Us coming out [saying] that we are dating was the most difficult part. The fear of being judged and what will people say,” the couple said.

Stevens remembers how nervous he was about telling his parents about the German lady who stole his heart during her mission trip to South Africa. 

The 29-year-old says his mom was skeptical at first, but his dad was the most excited. 

Lina, on the other hand, said she was raised by parents who encouraged her and her siblings to do whatever makes them happy. As a result, when she told them about Stevens, they were supportive.

Stevens talks about the time he had to visit Lina’s parents during the time they were dating. “The welcoming that I got from her parents was amazing. I really felt like I was home when I was there. I wasn’t a stranger,” says Steve. 

Lina says she experienced the same when she went to Stevens' home. 

The couple say that blending into each other's families wasn't difficult because they embraced each other's cultures. Lina says she wasn't even scared of being a 'makoti', because she loves exploring other cultures. She says she always knew that she might marry someone outside her own culture.

While their families and friends supported their relationship, the couple says they still deal with society looking at them differently.

“We turn heads when we go to the mall and public space. It’s something people are not used to it. Some would roll eyes. We get all weird reactions from people from outside,” says the couple. 

But they have learned to deal with the judgement from society by ignoring it. 

The couple has been happily married for five years now. They say marriage has had its ups and downs, but they have learned that what makes a relationship work is love, transparency, communication, praying together, and being adventurous.

Stevens says Lina is so easy to love because of her persona.

“What I love most about Lina and one thing that stood out is that she is a very humble, open-minded person. When she came to South Africa, she had that open mind. A person who is willing to learn and know people. She wasn’t caged in,” says Stevens. 

Lina adds that she also loves Stevens because of his character. 

The pair say that any multiracial couple that wants to take things to the next level should focus on their love for each other and forget about what others will say, because people always talk. 

The couple is blessed with a five-month-old handsome boy and they say they are looking forward to many more beautiful years of marriage.

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