Chad le Clos talks about his struggle with depression
"There were times where I was sitting in my room just crying by myself. I didn’t know why I was like that."
Chad le Clos has been going through a hard time.
In a recent interview with Mail & Guardian, he revealed that he has been battling with depression since 2021 after something 'deep' happened to him, though he won't divulge details around what really happened.
“It’s something I’ll never talk about because it’s not for anybody else to know. But it was something so deep, it was worse than my parents having cancer and this was worse for them," he told Mail & Guardian.
He says what transpired affected his swimming and is part of the reason why he struggled at the Olympic Games in Tokyo, where he finished fifth in the 200m butterfly final.
READ: No medal for Chad le Clos in Tokyo
“It really cut me deep but I didn’t know it affected me. Sometimes you don’t know that you’re swimming with that weight on your shoulders. I wasn’t myself. I was so unsure about myself. I lost all my confidence last year,” he told M&G.
As a result of the mental stress, he says his father suggested that he seek professional help, which he declined. It was only after the Olympics that he sought help.
“I only started to speak to someone after the Olympics – biggest mistake of my life – and I started getting myself right again. I was in a dark place, even after the Olympics. I was super depressed," he said.
He expressed how the depression made him feel like a shell of his former self.
“There were times where I was sitting in my room just crying by myself. I didn’t know why I was like that. It genuinely wasn’t about the Olympics. It was about my future and about me… it felt like I had fallen such a long way from where I was in terms of who I was as a person. It really wasn’t about swimming," he told the publication.
READ: 'Anxious' Le Clos beats out Dressel to win world gold
The swimmer says things have improved after going to therapy and he will not be giving up on his career.
“I did some deep therapy last year. I’m okay to talk about it now because I’m actually good. I’m 100% good now compared to last year. Last year I couldn’t talk about anything because I was just a shell of myself. The main thing is that I’m good, everyone is good, I’m on my way back. I’m doing the right things… I still believe I’ve got a lot of fight left in me. I’ve had a great career, but I don’t think I’m done by any means,” he told the publication.
WATCH: Chad gets hero's welcome in Durban
Image courtesy of Instagram.